I make better ads than this one.

Marc Lewis said no. So I pestered a French ad school – without speaking any French – to let me join their course… that sends its students to SCA.

I have created a community for people who believe Romeo and Juliet won’t die at the end.

I am so broke that once a week I go to Borough market for dinner and fill up on free samples. I also take home massive amounts of napkins from McDonald’s, because they are perfect for toilet paper and they are free.

I trusted a strange Indonesian man who told me that he was a healer. We did naked burpees together next to a waterfall, as he told me that that was the most efficient way to expel negative energy from the body.

I got paid by a Hungarian television station to judge which beauty pageant applicants had fake boobs.

I ate whale bacon.

I organised a pyjama party in someone else’s hotel room.

I always sneeze nine times in a row.

My mom successfully replaced my dead hamsters during the night, until the pet shop didn’t have the same colour.

I went on five Tinder dates in one day.

I believe in humans and unicorns.